Wednesday, December 07, 2005

While at Wal*Mart....

Alright, I didn't write this list. This was sent to me in an email, but it was too hilarious not share. I also added one that was on another list but fits in great with this one. Bonus points if you can guess which one was added to this list!

While at Wal*Mart:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares" and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Take some peanut butter into a bathroom stall next to one that's being used. Wipe a bit of peanut butter onto some toilet paper and drop it under the divider. Then say, "Oh dang, can you kick that back over hear?"


These things may all be 100% more effective if caught on video by a close personal friend willing to share the video over the internets. Or my inbox.

Enjoy!

2 Comments:

Blogger metafiz said...

i give up! which one was added?

how are you doing, tree? it was good to meet you and your better half (and the little one) in nashvegas. hope all is going well for you.

pax,
metafiz

7:59 PM  
Blogger manofredearth said...

Wow, how did I miss this comment? Sorry, man, I didn't mean to leave you hanging for so long. The last one with the peanut butter was the one I added. I have yet to try it, but I'm really sure that it will have to be done at some point.

10:57 AM  

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